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The thought suddenly popped into my head that I was glad I wasn't one of those boysI figured we would go to the police on Friday, but Victoria announced that she had to be out of town Friday and all the weekend. I'm ashamed to say that was one of the few times I've ever been really irritated with her. I asked her if someone else could do it and was even crass enough to imply that her family ought to be more important than anything else. She looked like I had slapped her in the face, then stared at me with big sad eyes."Don't you think I want to be there for Cindi"? She looked like she was going to cry, and Victoria never cries. My heart melted; I loved this woman so much, how could I even think of implying what I did?"I'm sorry, honey, I didn't mean that, I was just ... I don't know why I said it. I know you love the girls as much as I do. I'm sorry, it's been a very trying couple of days." The smile she gave me was forgiveness enough.The other reason I had been so short with her was. ‘Get your fat ass into some clothes and get out of my bed.’ Without protest I got out of bed and began to walk to the closet. Before I could reach the knob, James grabbed my neck and yanked me in close against him. The smell of alcohol was uncomfortably overpowering. ‘Where’s the bastard you’ve been sleeping with, Xiara?’ I grabbed his arm, trying hard to breathe as he held me up by my neck. I couldn’t answer to plead my innocence. James threw me against the wall. ‘Since you have so much trouble answering, stay the hell out of my bed.’ In utter humiliation, I grabbed the first robe I saw and made my way quickly out of the room. I sat very quietly on the sofa, trying, and ultimately failing, to convince myself not to cry. James got angry whenever I would cry. Without another sound, I laid down on the sofa. I didn’t make a sound. I bit my lip hard to prevent any sound from coming out. Not bothering to retrieve any blankets or sheets, I silently cried myself back to sleep. *** The next.
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